I never knew Josh Harris had brothers, but I recently found out about their web site, and a survey they have published - the questions were based on questions and comments from women who were interested in what guys thought about different articles of clothing, make-up, etc.

The survey results were published today.

But, before you read the survey, check out the common misconceptions.

Posted by Jon Daley on February 14, 2007, 8:43 pm | Read 32004 times
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I could spend a LOT of time with this survey, and I don't have it right now! But I love its detail, the ability to filter the results, and the fact that comments are included. I wish these guys designed all the surveys I'm asked to fill out! You know, the ones that are impossible for a sane person to answer truthfully and don't allow for comments and explanations.

One thing that surprised and disturbed me, in my quick look around, was the attitude of many of the guys to the fashion of layering clothing. I realize that many of the respondents are quite young and inexperienced, and at least one did recognize that American girls are just beginning to catch up with other parts of the world with this fashion. What shocked me was not that they didn't like it (figuring boys are probably slower to catch on to girls' fashions than girls are), but that they considered this commendable move toward modesty to be immodest! Because, apparently, they figure there's no possible reason for wearing, over modest clothes, clothes that would be revealing if worn by themselves -- unless you were pretending to be wearing only the outer layers and thus sinfully rebelling in your heart and trying to entice guys to think about what you would look like if you weren't wearing the under layers. The logic of that quite escapes me. Then again, I'm told teenage boys tend to imagine what girls look like without any layers at all, no matter what they are wearing, so I'll admit that teenage boys baffle me, in general.

I must return to this survey...say in a week or two when live calms down. :)

Posted by SursumCorda on February 14, 2007, 10:34 pm

I looked briefly at the layering results, because of your comment. It seems to me that in general, most of the guys thought layering was modest. Maybe we both have to go back and look again another time.

Posted by joyful on February 15, 2007, 8:31 am

I found it quite interesting to browse through. My favorite response was about shoes. After reading the question "Is...a stumbling block for guys?" over and over, the same question about high heels received this response "They might be a stumbling block for girls. I don't see how they walk on those things." Haha!

I have to agree with Mom about layering. I would say that was the section where the responses surprised me the most (that and the fact that playing with the hair wasn't distracting). Either they thought it was trying to be sexy without technically showing anything, or that it was dorky (Momís right about guys being slow on the fashion front). I happen to like the layered look, which of course I got from Japan. Japan also changed my idea of whatís modest. Despite what some people said, it is hard to find modest clothes and layering opens up the possibilities to be stylish and modest. The complaint was not only about short skirts over leggings or jeans, but over long shirts and short dresses. At the same time they insist that a girlís shirt must never rise above her pants. Thus, in order to be modest one must have a shirt that will fall a few inches below the pant line even when youíre reaching up, squatting or bending over (oops, Iím not supposed to do that either!). Try moving in front of a mirror sometime. Your shirt moves quite a bit. Yet, if you choose a long shirt so you donít have to worry about accidentally exposing your middle you must be careful that itís not so long that it might be mistaken for a short dress. Sheesh!

At the same time is was encouraging to hear from so many guys who are concerned about modesty and are waiting to find a modest mate (even some 24 year-olds are still waiting!). Still, most of them find beauty in the face and it modest to bring attention to the face, but no the body. What about the poor girls who do not have pretty faces but do have nice bodies? Thankfully some said inner beauty was most important.

Posted by IrishOboe on February 15, 2007, 10:50 am

Yes, I got the impression that the drawing attention to the face/eyes was in fact drawing attention to the real person, pretty face or not, and thus the real attraction is there. I did do a very cursory look through the responses, so I'm sure I missed a lot of details.

Of course, on every question some guys said "strongly disagree" and some said "strongly agree" so you can't win with everyone. That's why everyone has to look at his own heart (and I include girls in that "his" beacuse I'm stuck in grammatical tradition) and act in the purest manner he knows how, in dress and thoughts.

I was amused by one young man's comment that it should be obvious what are the trouble areas. I've seen time and time again this giant dfference in the way men and women think. It really, truly is the case that many (most?) girls have no idea how guys think and have to learn it. Growing up without brothers, I had little clue until college.

Posted by joyful on February 15, 2007, 11:20 am

All my practice is with girls and now I have six nephews (so far) to try to understand. :)

Posted by SursumCorda on February 16, 2007, 5:40 pm

I thought this survey was great! I forwarded it to Seeds of Hope people. I thought that overall I agreed with the commenters, and found the average tone of comments more insightful than the statistical chart of agrees/disagrees, because it demonstrates the way Christian guys think about things.

Regarding the comment about pretty faces, I don't think it's the actual characteristics of the face that attract necessarily, but the tone and the attitude that conveys itself through the face. I have seen characteristically "pretty" faces look ugly because the wearer was either in a bad mood or a displeasing person in general, and I often am delighted with faces that I wouldn't otherwise give a second thought to because of the expression conveyed or the general cheerfulness of the person.

Posted by Avin on February 19, 2007, 6:42 am

I'm 23 and I'm still waiting to get married. More waiting for maturity on my part than anything else though! :)

Haha, I said something similar to the "They might be a stumbling block for girls. I don't see how they walk on those things" comment when I did the survey.

Posted by MichaelQ on February 20, 2007, 3:23 pm
 
   
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