Daley Ponderings

Isaac's 23rd birthday

joyful — Fri, 21 Nov 2025 08:37:56 -0500

23 years ago, we started this blog to have a good way to keep everyone informed of how things were going. In some ways, it really does feel like a lifetime ago. However, Isaac is still close in our hearts. His life and death are a part of our family and influence our relationships to each other and to God.

The thing that is blowing my mind today is that Isaac would now be the age that I was when he was born.

Isaac Memorial Reflection

joyful — Fri, 17 Jun 2016 14:58:25 -0400

I typed up my memorial service reflection for a presentation we did at our church recently. I don't think it has been typed up before, so I thought I'd post it now. (Am I allowed to be amazed at myself?)

Heather's memorial reflection, March 16, 2003

Isaac Christopher Daley - a blessing for nine months and two days

This reflection is going to focus on the blessings God has brought to our lives through Isaac.

I'll start by reading my diary entry written one year ago today - March 16,2002. That was the day we confirmed my suspicions that there was a new life growing in me. That new life was Isaac.

"It is the miracle of life! God has opened my womb and breathed a new creation! It is a miracle - God created a whole new soul and has placed it in me for safekeeping. May I be worthy. I am so excited about being pregnant, but I do not want to lose sight of God. I am trying and praying for the right focus. It does help to be utterly amazed by the reality of a new person, a new creation - that really, Jon and I had only a small part in making. God is the one who chooses to bring life. God is the one who knows the perfect timing. I think that I might not have been in awe as much if we had gotten pregnant earlier, and so I am very thankful for God's timing. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!!!!!"

I cannot express the awe of watching the miracle unfold. I had always been pro-life, but this first-hand experience showed me why. This person was not *my* choice, though I desired him; he was *God's* choice.

We had prayed to receive this baby, and God had granted him to us, in His own good time. We prayed for his health, his growth, his birth. We talked to him and sang to him and poked him; and felt him poke us back. We listened to his heartbeat. Everything was amazing!

He was a joy to us all along. When I was tempted to complain about being big, tired, slow, etc., God quickly brought to mind that this was a blessing worth rejoicing over, and the little pains are all worth it.

As Isaac grew, so did we, and not just in the tummy department! We grew in patience and selflessness. I was not only feeding and caring for myself, but also for another, totally dependent person. Jon's patience was tried by my slower-moving thoughts, and he grew in graciousness to me.

Birth is amazing, too. God blessed me with a husband who attended to me faithfully, and He gave me the strength to persevere through a very hard labor.

The blessings did not stop just because Isaac was sick and in the hospital. On the contrary, God kept pouring. The body of Christ came to support us in every way, from near and far.

God allowed us to be with precious Isaac for two days. To hold him in my arms was an inexpressible joy! The most beautiful person I have ever seen. Made in the image of God!

A new kind of love, that of a mother for her child, hit me with great force. It opened up new understanding of God's love for us. But the greatest revelation did notcome until later, after Isaac died.

It is this: the love which God has for us is so great that He willingly sent His Son to die for us. That is the greatest blessing of them all.

It is a good thing for us that I am not God, because I would not choose on my own for my son to die in someone's place. God called Isaac from me, and made my heart willing.

It was one thing to give the opportunity of life to someone else, once God had taken him. But I would not have given Isaac to the surgeons to give his organs to someone else, if he had not already died.

Yet this is the great love of God! That He did not spare His only Son, but gave Him up as a ransom for many!

I do not understand why God numbered Isaac's days so few and it hurts very much, but even through his death, God has blessed us. He has sustained us mightily by His grace. Not only do we have to deal with the pain of death, but also the pain of investigation and unjust accusations. But yet God is still with us, keeping us from the point of no return. Sometimes we are clinging with only a fingernail. Sometimes we look around at our situation, panic, and start sinking. But then Jesus turns our faces back to His and lifts us up. He has opened our hearts to see our dependence on Him, and has softened them to His will. God also comforts us with His word. Many scriptures come to mind, or are brought to us, that fit our circumstances exactly.

I have many questions that may never be answered, but God is blessing us still. He is good and He is love.

Pocket Notes

joyful — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 17:16:54 -0400

Oh, yes. It has been half a year since my last pocket notes post...

9/6 - Joy says "yum" and "yummy", "all done/gone" (sounds like ah-doh), "where shoe?", and "mine" (sounds like my)

9/25 - Faith reading the Bible to Joy: "When you want Mommy to cuddle with you but she can't, you aren't alone because God is with you."

Faith also reminded herself of this as she went down to put tools away in the basement.

9/28 - Noah let me listen to his piano practice and I was impressed with his progress: both hands, dynamics, steady rythmn

10/2 - Noah lost his upper left second incisor. It had to come out to make room for the new first incisor. That is, he lost three baby teeth to make room for two adult teeth. As of March, he has not lost any more.

10/12 - Jon felt the baby move

~10/12 - Joy says, "'kay" for ok

10/14 - Faith felt the baby move

10/14 - Joy says, "two, three" sounds like "do, wee"

10/17 - Joy says, "hot" sounds like a breathy "ha"

10/21 - I turn 33.

10/24 - Joy says, "thank you" sounds like "tha tchoo"

10/31 - The almost-went-to-the-doctor day. Joy put a bead up Faith's nose (I think she was lying down). After much distress in attempting extraction, I finally got it with a toothpick. Later that same day, Jonathan cut his ankle on a piece of broken tile. He was very dramatic about it, which we have started to treat as the boy crying wolf, but when I actually saw it, I agreed that it was pretty impressive. But a butterfly closure did the trick and we did not need to go get stitches.

11/1 - Joy put on Faith's shirt, underwear, and shorts - she wants to be just like big sister!

11/1 - Joy said, "Faith" sounds like Thay.

11/18 - Jonathan turns 9

11/21 - Isaac would be 10. Wow.

12/8 - We move into our own house!

1/18 - Joy poured her own milk by herself (with the last of the gallon).

1/9 - I was looking for electrical caps. Joy said, "dap!" and handed me the jar of caps.

1/26 - To Joy, every animal says "roar"

1/28 - Jonathan had a bad math day. The worksheet would say "what's the difference..." and Jonathan's answer was "one's longer".

2/2 - Jon's birthday party/Housewarming party

2/8 - I was using a measuring cup to scoop batter out, and Joy said, "me do cup please"

2/9 - Jonathan: "Nobody can argue that Mrs.Lull is a good teacher." Faith: "'Cause she is!"

Joy likes giving high fives. She'll say "fie!" and hold her palm up.

2/11 - Jon turns 36.

2/13 - Jeremiah is born.

2/15 - Joy, heading down the stairs, said, "Bye. Love you, Mommy."

Three of Joy's two year molars came in after I last brushed her teeth before Jeremiah was born and before I first brushed her teeth a week later. The slow one is the top left.

2/23 - Joy turns two.

3/10 - Joy sees Jeremiah spit up on my shoulder. She says, "Spill." and then goes and gets me a sponge.

3/16 - Faith reads! She reads the first several stories in I Can Read It! Book 1.

Very Busy November

joyful — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 11:56:46 -0500

Actually, the only thing written in my pocket notes from all this time is that on 11/16, Jon solved the mirror cube with his eyes closed.

Jonathan's 7th birthday was a very fun time. He got a lot of cool presents and had a lot of cool people over to play. Grandma and Dad-o were there for the occasion and the next few days were also busy with fun.

Three days later was Isaac's 8th birthday and he was not forgotten. Here is something I wrote to Grammy on the day: "It's amazing how fast time flies sometimes. 8 is the age that I imagined him, just a few days after [his death], running up to me with a big smile on his face, saying, 'Don't worry, Mommy, it's fun up here!' and running off to keep playing. I always thought that he was so old in that dream. And here he would be..."

As we prepared to head to Philly for Thanksgiving, Dad recommended that we get a car-top carrier for all our stuff, as all the seats in the van would be full. That turned out to be a very good idea, especially because of all the presents we brought back home! As usual, the time with family at Thanksgiving was full of feasting, games, little sleep, and lots of fun. Noah made a good friend in cousin K, who played whatever he wanted very patiently. It was a blessing to see little Faith Isabella, who has had many health issues in her short life and for whom we have been praying through her many surgeries and struggles. Our Faith, when asked the baby's name, or when referring to her, calls her "Me" or "Baby Me".

Faith made great strides in potty training - I'm so glad I brought her little potty. She now consistently goes in her potty for all manner of needs and has not had an accident in a while. Also, her nighttime diapers had been dry for about two weeks, including during our stay away from home, so when we got home I decided to try putting her to bed in underwear. There has only been one bedwetting accident since then, and that was when she fell asleep during a movie and I did not have her go to the bathroom before putting her down in bed.

We came home on Sunday and Monday was the last full day at home with Grandma and Dad-o. We had a mini-Christmas with them on Monday morning and that was fun though rather chaotic. Adding to both the excitement and the chaos was the arrival of birthday presents for all from Auntie E.

Tuesday, we all headed up to help our former pastor's family get unpacked into their new house. It was very rainy and muddy, but the truck got unpacked by the end of the night. We got enough beds together that they could sleep there that night, but Jon left all his tools there so we could come back Wednesday to finish up some projects.

Wednesday morning, the rain had turned to snow! Happy December! It was sticking, about an inch, though the roads were fine. I brushed off my parents's rental car and we said good-bye. Mom was going home and Dad was going back to Thailand.

Then the Daleys headed back up to Indiana. I helped get shelf liner in the kitchen and Jon continued to work on plumbing for the washer, dryer and utility sink. I went to Lowe's three times - reminded me of when we moved! It was a long but productive day and the washer was ready to be used when we left.

The next few days were spent in catching up on home things and recovering from the very full past couple of weeks. It has continued to snow and be very Christmas-y. Some friends gave us a sled and the boys have had lots of fun playing outside. There was a snow penguin at some point but I think he is now just a large ball on the front walkway.

Today is full of jackhammering in our basement, as we finally decided to have people come in and put in drains and a pump to keep our basement dry. We'll see if Jon wants to make a more detailed post when the job's all done.

I Heard It From a Newspaper...

jondaley — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:27:34 -0400

So, I know you can't believe anything you read in a newspaper, but if the newspaper calls you and tells you something, then can you believe it? How about if both Pittsburgh newspapers call?

We've heard that Judy was acquitted of two of the three charges brought against her, but she was fined the maximum for the third charge, which comes to a grand total of $100.

It'd be nice if the county would notice that the prosecution wasted seven years trying to get a verdict, and failed so future folks don't have to go through all of this.

News I Forgot to Mention

jondaley — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:41:04 -0400

Speaking of news, I forgot to post here that the closing arguments for Judy's trial are scheduled for tomorrow, and I'll be heading to Pittsburgh to hang out with folks who will be there in her support. Of course, this might be the first time a scheduled meeting actually happened when it was supposed to (or did it already get postponed once? It's hard to keep it straight) so I wouldn't be too surprised if Lisa is on vacation and forgot to tell anyone.

As I understand it, tomorrow's events should be pretty straightforward, with each attorney getting to talk however they like and then the judge goes away for a week to ponder the incredulity of it all and come back and rule on the three charges (there are three charges, either because the district attorney agrees with Stephan about lists, or in the hopes of getting one to stick).

And of course, Jonathan hasn't graduated from college yet, so it probably won't really end, though I understand that in this case, the prosecution can't appeal, so it is up to Judy whether she would want to continue to drag this out forever if he finds her guilty on any of the charges. After seven years, she might just be tired of it all, though I suppose it probably partly depends on the findings, and ramifications for other women in the US (or at least Pennsylvania, though in this case, the judge explicitly asked Judy's attorney to find him cases from other states) who want to employ a midwife.

Trial Update - Jon's Testimony

joyful — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 19:58:11 -0500

Check out Mom's post and Jon's comments afterwards for the update.

A Practical and Fun Memorial

joyful — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 09:48:57 -0400

Grammy and Papa bought a playground for their backyard, "In memory of Isaac and in honor of all [their] grandchildren." Two weekends ago, we went to New Hampshire to help them assemble it. It was a fun and busy weekend. The playground is big and immensely fun. Even though we were not able to finish it that weekend, it was assembled enough for the boys to clamber all around. Jonathan said, "This is the most fun thing ever!"

All the playground pictures are on our pictures page.

The boys on the Rollicking Roundabout:

Latest picture from Papa; they did more work last weekend:

The memorial plaque:

Trial?

jondaley — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:14:43 -0400

I was just served with a subpeona to appear for Judy's trial on September 22nd, with a preparation meeting on September 8th. Probably not what Heather wants to be thinking about with our baby due any day now.

I told the detective that with our baby coming, we might not be able to make it, and he said to call the prosecutor, but she is "out of the office" until Monday, so I assume she won't get the message in time. Oh well, I guess that is what they get for not notifying us sooner.

Trial Date?

jondaley — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 12:12:23 -0500

I had meant to post that the trial was going to be on March 17th, but I just found out that it has been postponed until September 22. So, more waiting. Crazy.