From me:
Greetings, I beseech you in the name of the fair gravel god Macadam.

The town crier has informed us, the royal court, that some of you minions scoffed at my prior references to the presumed conflict between the bipedaled beasts and steel plated goblins, and so we hereby declare that you should remember your place and be mindful of the techniques that we used on previous scofflaws, who dared to besmirch the honor and glory due to our imperial majesty.
As it was the first time, and we only heard about it via a semi-reliable town crier, who might have been paid off by our vile enemies, we are willing to overlook such previously named offenses, and allow those yet unnamed nefarious actors to take part in our upcoming affair.

We, the superior, resplendent priests have undertaken the magnanimous effort to appease the wood clearing temple goddesses, and in the last few hours, have successfully been granted access to a trinity of campsites (perhaps related to the H-H-O trinity previously mentioned, though these temple rituals are somewhat confusing, so the references to two trinities, is beyond our earthly understanding, despite the vast size of our intellectual capacity.)

It was firmly requested by the temple goddesses that we partake of this tripartite, rather than a large, unitarian clearing, as foolish minions from nearby kingdoms have already claimed their stake, thus they were able to extract even more tribute than is customary for such occasions.

We have heard (by the same aforementioned town crier) that the current arrangement for dinner on this glorious Saturn's day will be for all royal personages (and lower class minions as well, unfortunately), to attend to the victual temple, where they will indulge us to partake in their temple offerings of the staff of life, over which sundry meats and green things will be supplied.

For the other times of nourishment, the illustrious company of the O'Daleys will be attempting to provide sufficient provisions for the growing troupe of adventurous, and no doubt ravenous, characters that will be attempting the long arduous journey to Pyle O'hio in less than three days hence.

Until then, good day.

* Bonus points if you actually gained any new knowledge from this missive.

And the next day:

        For those young squires who don't wish to burden their bi-pedaled beasts with heavy cloths and sundry coverings, the friendly steel chariot awaits at Daley Manor, and will also be traveling to Chez de Kuhns as well as the Lewis Mansion late this evening, and so you can drop off such items sometime today, for safe delivery to Pyle O'hio late tomorrow afternoon.

Posted by Jon Daley on May 25, 2010, 10:52 am | Read 3106 times
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Comments

You are all officially nuts. I love it.

Posted by SursumCorda on May 25, 2010, 11:32 am

Billy said he felt sorry for anyone who had to grade my papers in college...

Posted by jondaley on May 25, 2010, 11:42 am

You should write all your posts like that!

Posted by Stephan on May 26, 2010, 12:51 am
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