From me:

Oh Great Stout Hearted One and Less Admired Comrades:

        At this moment, that is to say, this present instance in time, I and my accompanying attendants find the highly esteemed, large and otherwise great price of the rougher, larger and most intricately interesting collection of this new fangled hydrogen and oxygen combination of materials to be more than we are desirous of contributing to incantation rituals.  We, that is to say, I, and perhaps the other two male species in my immediate, close family, would be interested in the aforementioned red mammal sacrifices, and we are wondering and pondering if the mammal sacrifices could be accepted and used as a form of payment and way to appease these river gods by which the semi-honorable mushroom cleric is our most precious and distinguished asset, at least in terms of placating river gods, we are not so sure or confident in his abilities in facing the steel plated goblins that ravage our most beautiful and exquisite land.
        As far as the bi-pedaled beasts upon which we plan to undertake to tame and ride atop of the entire, arduous, albeit small sloped journey, me and my eldest squire are charting our course to navigate the treacherous, though auspicious and loricated paths that span the perpetual stretch between the archduchy of Valencia and the glorious, boundless, brilliant kingdom of that which is known in the common tongue as Ohiopyle.
        And now, as we come to the close of this overly-long correspondence and missive and admitting that we are no polyglots and thereby required the services of a cyclopedia contained within the bounds of this invention of Count Gore: the Internet, But as yet, I do need to include one last word of warning, and I pray ye that y'all hear this, that when looking for pneumatograms and lengthier verbiage as well as while traveling about on the narrow plains and paths that one should always, always seek to avoid being crapulous, as that sort of behavior never does one, whether Cleric Joshua or Pudgy Patrick, any good or end in respectable character, that we, of all people should desire to obtain.

Respectfully and in all other ways contumelious submitted,
The Tall One and The Short One, both Christened Jonathan
Posted by Jon Daley on May 25, 2010, 10:28 am | Read 2078 times
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