Reading
Mom's post about the TV/autism study reminded me of my own recent negative TV experience.
On Friday at care group, Jonathan inadvertantly went to the babysitting before we wanted him to, and they ended up seeing
several kids' shows on video. Much of his conversation all weekend was how Thomas (the tank engine) was sad because he was in a hurry. Soot-su and the other friends of his own imagination were forgotten in favor of commercial characters and their dubious activities. Don't tell me it's harmless because it's a children's
show. The stories are at best lame and at worst teaching values that
are not congruent with ours. Jonathan is not old enough yet to be
able to discuss with us things he sees that we have not also seen.
I was saddened when I heard one person say, "The kids are all set, they're watching a video" because I wanted Jonathan (and the other kids) to really play, not just be zombies. But I am even more convinced that I don't want him watching this stuff now that I see how it affected his conversation and behavior. Even before the childcare, Bob the Builder was on downstairs when we arrived early and Jonathan just lounged on the couch, chewing his thumb, staring fixedly. Usually he would be exploring the environment, making conversation with anyone who will listen.
In the future, Jonathan will be staying with us at care group just as he stays with us at church.
Posted by
Heather Daley on
October 24, 2006, 4:07 pm
| Read 7345 times
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Did it work?
We watched movies very rarely at home; they were special family events, and I would plan a night for the latest Disney movie, say, only to be told, "We already saw that one at school." (Well, that had a bright side. We then concentrated our attention on things like Gilbert and Sullivan operettas, which never darkend the door of the school. You haven't lived until you've heard your tiny kids quoting lines from The Pirates of Penzance to each other.)
What annoys me most these days is TV in waiting rooms everywhere: the doctor's office, the airport, the oil-change place (that's one thing saved now that Porter is changing the oil himself again!). I can avoid the visual distraction by keeping my eyes on my book, but it's so hard to read anything of any importance with the unavoidable audio blasting.
I remember those choir sleepovers. I never got enough sleep because the movie always kept me awake instead of settling me. I seem to remember they would put in more than one, and I would eventually fall asleep just because I was so tired.
Speaking of TVs in waiting rooms - our worst experience with that was last year when Jon was in the emergency room with meningitis, so sensitive to light and noise, and the one guy was so offended that we wanted it off.
That's why Marie Winn called TV The Plug-In Drug. And why it's SUCH a temptation for frazzled moms. In a way, it's a reflection of the pharmaceuticalization of our culture. (I knew the 60's would come back to haunt us. The zoned-out hippies are now working in legitimate drug companies, still seeking chemical answers to life's problems. But I digress.) Why take the time and effort to help your children learn to entertain themselves when a TV can buy you all the time you want? (Add a DVD player and you can assuage your conscience by playing only "good" shows.)
The benefits of (and to) a self-entertaining child are enormous and long-term, but this is delayed gratification at its hardest, VERY difficult for busy, harried parents to stick with when there's a handy, easy, socially acceptable alternative that provides instant results. And for a woman who's struggling to be a good mother while holding down a full-time job...well, I digress again. But my heart certainly goes out to parents these days.
I feel as thought I'm always the one who is asking a nursery worker, receptionist at the doctor, or even Sunday school teacher to please not pop in a video. I suppose that when one is providing a service, such as watching my child, then I'm not supposed to complain. But I have research and common sense on my side, and if I never speak up and assert my standards, then television and media just becomes more normal.
The older I get, the less I mind being weird.
Ya know, it used to be that those who provided services believed the customer was always right. Now we as customers fear demanding even reasonable service. "Watching my child" should mean caring for him. Child care is not a valet parking service.
By the way, I'll add a positive in here. A few parents at the women's Bible study at Ascension have asked that the sitters not put in videos. They respect that and I really really appreciate it.