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Powered by LifeTypeThere was a funeral held today for Isaac in Old Saybrook, CT. Many members of our family were there, as well as a couple friends. The text of the bulletin is below. My grandfather led the service and a meditation on our hope and expectation of life after death for ourselves.
There were many people who made the burial, service and reception possible. Thank you to all who worked to make this day what it was. Thank you for doing things so that Heather and I didn't have to worry about them.
Prayer requests:
Continued prayers for us to trust God's guidance in our lives, and for our faith as we seek Him.
"Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for those who persecute you"
-- Matthew 5:44
The inquest just finished this morning. It has been a big media circus -- radio stations started the publicity this morning, and there were tons of reporters and cameras at the courthouse.
Fortunately, our lawyers recommended that Judy, Heather and I not be there, so we didn't have to talk to the media.
The coroner recommended to the district attorney that he press charges of homicide against Judy. The district attorney doesn't have to take that recommendation, but usually he follows the advice of the coroner. The whole process is highly political, so it is hard to know what will happen.
I was struck today by an article in the Voice of the Martyrs today where persecuted Christians in Muslim countries were praying for their captors and persecutors. So, I had a different prayer this morning -- not just that Carol Mills McCarthy (the judge) would make the right decision, but that she, Ed Borkowski (assistant district attorney), and Cyril Wecht (the coroner), would be blessed in their job, in their families, in their lives.
Prayer requests:
Please pray for Judy for strength to endure through what will most likely be a long and drawn out time.
Also pray for Judy's finances, as trials are really expensive, probably fifty to a hundred thousand dollars, which is hard to imagine.
Continued prayers for us to trust God's guidance in our lives, and for our faith as we seek Him.
The coroner finally called today, to let us know that a date has been scheduled for the "findings" of whether a trial is recommended or not. Next Friday at 10:30AM.
Prayer requests:
Continued prayers for us to trust God's guidance in our lives, and for our faith as we seek Him.
A funeral service has been scheduled for June 15th, 4:00PM, at a cemetary in Old Saybrook, CT, where a number of Heather's extended family has been buried.
While it will be a small service, intended mostly for family, if you were unable to attend the memorial service in Pittsburgh, you are welcome to attend the funeral service. Contact us for details.
If you are interested in giving money to somewhere, Heather and I sponsor two children in Uganda through Compassion International, and write letters periodically, and it is a great organization.
Gifts can be made in memory of Isaac Daley.
You can contact them here:
Compassional International
Colorado Springs, CO 80997
(800)336-7676
https://www.compassion.com/giving/
Prayer requests:
Please pray for details regarding the service.
We went to the CORE ceremony today. The ceremony was for donors and recipients of organ donations from 2002. Isaac's heart valves were collected and frozen for future use. They have not yet been transplanted into anyone yet, but I guess they can be stored for a couple years and they will still work fine.
Originally, we were a little concerned about the content of the ceremony, that I know some people view the donation process as the only means of having something good come out of something bad. However, most of the ceremony was nice. A couple recipients spoke, and said how grateful they are that some donor gave them a new kidney, heart, etc. I guess I hadn't really thought about it too much, what it means to a person who receives the organs. They had us release balloons that floated off (and put lots of rubber into the environment -- we were sort of surprised that people still do that...) They also had doves that they let go and fly away. The neat part was that they were trained, and so they swooped and circled around us a bunch of times before flying off. Presumably they flew back to the zoo or some other location to be picked up again.
I met one couple who talked about their son, who was born with a heart defect and moved to the NICU at Children's Hospital (he was in a bed one or two away from where Isaac was). The doctor (Dr. Death, as the parents call him) had no hope that a replacement heart could be found in time, nor that even if it was, that the transplant would be successful. As it turns out, a heart was found within a week or two, and the boy is now five years old, and doing great!
One thing that struck Heather and me as we watched the video of the pictures of all the donors, was how many people in our region donated organs last year. That number is probably a small percentage of the total number of people who died. In the video, they listed the person's name and age. It was easier to think about the older people dying, but when the people were younger than me, especially teens and younger, it is hard to think about them dying so young.
Isaac "won the award" for being the youngest donor last year -- the handful of kids who were a year or two or younger really affected the people watching -- you could hear sighs from all the families. The couple that I mentioned earlier had seen the video at a prior event, and as we started talking to them they remembered Heather and Isaac from the picture -- and that was only one picture out of hundreds.
I encourage you to look into this program, and see what a difference it can make in people's lives.
Many of you have asked if there is anything new. Nope. The coroner's office moves extremely slowly. Supposedly, the judge is working on a final draft of her decision -- at least that is what they told me 3 weeks ago. The coroner's office told us not to call them, "we'll call you", so we are trying to be patient as the days tick by.
We have been dealing with medical bills, insurance, collection agencies, etc. as everything gets confusing because some charges go under Heather's name (though she wasn't ever at the hospital) some are under "Baby", some under "Unknown" and some under "Isaac". But, we are slowly getting things figured out, and the insurance company called a provider that wasn't listening to us, so hopefully all that will be figured out shortly. (I think their slowness is only surpassed by the legal system). (:
Thanks for all of your continued prayers. It is still stressful having this not finished.
We are going to be checking out a birth center north of Pittsburgh for our second child. We hope that we will be able to go there.
Prayer requests:
Continued prayers for us to trust God's guidance in our lives, and for our faith as we seek Him.
For my stubborn sinfulness, in letting small things get me worked up. Pray that God would show grace and mercy to me in humbling me.
These songs were sung at the memorial service, and have been very meaningful to us
Thanks to the writers and composers for providing a means of God's grace with these words.
The service was great! Thank you to all who came, and to all who helped out with setting up, cleaning up, and making food, running the overhead projector, leading worship, setting up and playing the cd player, making photocopies, and running back to the church to get the bulletins that I left behind.
Here are the lyrics to some of the songs that we sang.
Heather worked really hard on a special cake, in memory of some children and families we know who went through a somewhat similar situation.
At the end of the memorial service, we announced that we are expecting a sibling for Isaac in November!!!!
Prayer requests:
For all aspects of the new baby, pregnancy, birth, and beyond
That we would be patient while waiting for the decision.
It went well. The district attorney subpeonaed most midwives in Pittsburgh. Their testimonies were mostly good, acknowledging the fact that things that happened, could happen without the midwife being called incompetent, and it is not definite that there was anything else that should have been done, and that there exist non-nurse midwives who know what they are doing, and in fact even could be called experts.
The inquest is done, and within a month, the judge will make her recommendation about whether it should go to trial or not.
Contrary to what Channel 53 says, they are not thinking of charging us with anything. They are investigating whether Judy should be charged.
Prayer requests:
That God's will be done, but we hope that will is to not go to trial.
That we would not be angry at the "system".
We went down to the court house for the second part of the inquest today. However, the coroner's office forgot to subpeona the witnesses. Details....
Channel 4 knew that they wouldn't have a story unless they could get some new angle, so the lady tried to come to our house so that people could see where the baby was born, etc. and get the personal side of the story. But, we turned her down. Heather said it is enough to have our hearts open to everyone, without having our living room open too.
So, they rescheduled for next Tuesday. I mentioned to the district attorney that I felt the witnesses have been pretty biased. (he showed me the list of who is going to be subpeonaed for next week as well) He was very nice about it, and said that if I have anyone who I think should be subpeonaed, he would be willing to recommend to somebody, that they be subpeonaed as well. There are two obstetricians that we know of, but they both appear to be on vacation, so hopefully we can find them in time.
Prayer requests:
That joy and hope would return to us
That this would not go to trial
That we could find an obstetrician or two to testify
We got a call from the coroner today. The second part of the inquest has been scheduled for March 5th.
I found yahoo news group that was formed to support midwives who are undergoing legal battles. They have been extremely supportive, and great to talk to, especially last week, when Heather was in New England, and I was feeling alone.
Prayer requests:
That Judy would be able to come to the memorial service.
That we wouldn't be angry with the obstetrican who testified at the inquest, that we can understand his biases and know that if this does go to trial, other experts and studies will be cited, and the truth will be made known.
Somewhat unrelated side-note (related just because it is about babies!) John and Alissa Kuhns had their baby on Saturday morning, and I got to hold Nathanael(!) and spend the day with them, helping out as I could. He has been the first baby that I could even think about holding, and mostly it was great, with occasional tears or thoughts about similarities to Isaac, etc.
Prayer requests:
That Heather would return safely from New England (in the snow, or waiting until after the storm), where she has been helping out her parents pack up to move back to Florida.
That I would be able to reply to all (or at least some) of the people who have written us email and cards.
Inquest today. It wasn't anywhere near as bad as we thought it would be. We got to listen to everyone else testify, which basically was good, interesting to hear the story from various perspectives. A bit hard to hear the autopsy report, but the doctor was... well, as my mom says, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
The media wasn't as bad as we expected either, most people didn't even talk to us at all, just quoted us out of context to make a better story. The Post-Gazette reporter, Jim McKinnon, wrote the best article of them all, but as the Rev. Doug McGlynn would say, "that's like being the best quarterback in the nursing home." We were on a bunch of tv stations too, I think 3 different stations, with one of them devoting 10 minutes or so to the story. I wouldn't have thought anyone would care so much. As my brother said, "that's kind of cool to be on tv! ... oh, maybe not"
The inquest didn't finish, they have some more witnesses to talk to (and some paramedics and police officers to re-subpeona, since they didn't show up the first time). The date hasn't been scheduled yet, probably the end of February.
We are mostly just physically tired from sitting in one place for the whole day. Heather went off to the monthly women's meeting, and I think was encouraged by being there.
Prayer requests:
That Judy wouldn't see/hear about all the nasty stuff the doctor said about her.
That the next part of the inquest would go wonderfully, so that the judge would be convinced to not send this to trial.
That Heather and I wouldn't get stressed about things, and let them make other little things seem like big things.
The memorial service has been scheduled for March 16th, 2:00PM, at the Church of Ascension in Pittsburgh (Oakland, 4729 Ellsworth Avenue)
We are planning on a fairly informal service/celebration of Isaac's life, and would love to have you come. If you want to help out with that, we will have some setup time, chairs, etc. and also food for afterwards, so anything you want to help us with will be much appreciated.
Everyone is welcome at the memorial service. Some people have asked whether they can bring their kids/babies. YES!
If you are interested in giving money to somewhere, Heather and I sponsor two children in Uganda through Compassion International, and write letters periodically, and it is a great organization.
Gifts can be made in memory of Isaac Daley.
You can contact them here:
Compassional International
Colorado Springs, CO 80997
(800)336-7676
https://www.compassion.com/giving/
We are hoping to have a memorial service March 2nd, in Pittsburgh.
We would love to have you come.
We have yet to find a location, email me if you are interested in further details.
Prayer requests:
Continued from last time: that the coroner would not find any/enough reason to recommend that the District Attorney continue this to trial.
That the inquest would only take one day, so that this doesn't get prolonged into March (or longer).