Daley Ponderings

I typed up my memorial service reflection for a presentation we did at our church recently.  I don't think it has been typed up before, so I thought I'd post it now.  (Am I allowed to be amazed at myself?)

Heather's memorial reflection, March 16, 2003

Isaac Christopher Daley - a blessing for nine months and two days

This reflection is going to focus on the blessings God has brought to our lives through Isaac.

I'll start by reading my diary entry written one year ago today - March 16,2002.  That was the day we confirmed my suspicions that there was a new life growing in me.  That new life was Isaac.

"It is the miracle of life!  God has opened my womb and breathed a new creation! It is a miracle - God created a whole new soul and has placed it in me for safekeeping. May I be worthy.  I am so excited about being pregnant, but I do not want to lose sight of God.  I am trying and praying for the right focus.  It does help to be utterly amazed by the reality of a new person, a new creation - that really, Jon and I had only a small part in making.  God is the one who chooses to bring life.  God is the one who knows the perfect timing.  I think that I might not have been in awe as much if we had gotten pregnant earlier, and so I am very thankful for God's timing.  Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!!!!!"

I cannot express the awe of watching the miracle unfold.  I had always been pro-life, but this first-hand experience showed me why.  This person was not *my* choice, though I desired him; he was *God's* choice.

We had prayed to receive this baby, and God had granted him to us, in His own good time.  We prayed for his health, his growth, his birth.  We talked to him and sang to him and poked him; and felt him poke us back.  We listened to his heartbeat. Everything was amazing!

He was a joy to us all along.  When I was tempted to complain about being big, tired, slow, etc., God quickly brought to mind that this was a blessing worth rejoicing over, and the little pains are all worth it.

As Isaac grew, so did we, and not just in the tummy department! We grew in patience and selflessness.  I was not only feeding and caring for myself, but also for another, totally dependent person.  Jon's patience was tried by my slower-moving thoughts, and he grew in graciousness to me.

Birth is amazing, too.  God blessed me with a husband who attended to me faithfully, and He gave me the strength to persevere through a very hard labor.

The blessings did not stop just because Isaac was sick and in the hospital.  On the contrary, God kept pouring.  The body of Christ came to support us in every way, from near and far.

God allowed us to be with precious Isaac for two days.  To hold him in my arms was an inexpressible joy! The most beautiful person I have ever seen.  Made in the image of God!

A new kind of love, that of a mother for her child, hit me with great force.  It opened up new understanding of God's love for us.  But the greatest revelation did notcome until later, after Isaac died.

It is this: the love which God has for us is so great that He willingly sent His Son to die for us.  That is the greatest blessing of them all.

It is a good thing for us that I am not God, because I would not choose on my own for my son to die in someone's place.  God called Isaac from me, and made my heart willing.

It was one thing to give the opportunity of life to someone else, once God had taken him.  But I would not have given Isaac to the surgeons to give his organs to someone else, if he had not already died.

Yet this is the great love of God!  That He did not spare His only Son, but gave Him up as a ransom for many!

I do not understand why God numbered Isaac's days so few and it hurts very much, but even through his death, God has blessed us.  He has sustained us mightily by His grace.  Not only do we have to deal with the pain of death, but also the pain of investigation and unjust accusations. But yet God is still with us, keeping us from the point of no return. Sometimes we are clinging with only a fingernail.  Sometimes we look around at our situation, panic, and start sinking.  But then Jesus turns our faces back to His and lifts us up.  He has opened our hearts to see our dependence on Him, and has softened them to His will.  God also comforts us with His word.  Many scriptures come to mind, or are brought to us, that fit our circumstances exactly.

I have many questions that may never be answered, but God is blessing us still. He is good and He is love.

Oh, yes.  It has been half a year since my last pocket notes post...

9/6 - Joy says "yum" and "yummy", "all done/gone" (sounds like ah-doh), "where shoe?", and "mine" (sounds like my)

9/25 - Faith reading the Bible to Joy: "When you want Mommy to cuddle with you but she can't, you aren't alone because God is with you."

Faith also reminded herself of this as she went down to put tools away in the basement.

9/28 - Noah let me listen to his piano practice and I was impressed with his progress: both hands, dynamics, steady rythmn  (More)

Actually, the only thing written in my pocket notes from all this time is that on 11/16, Jon solved the mirror cube with his eyes closed.

Jonathan's 7th birthday was a very fun time.  He got a lot of cool presents and had a lot of cool people over to play.  Grandma and Dad-o were there for the occasion and the next few days were also busy with fun. (More)

So, I know you can't believe anything you read in a newspaper, but if the newspaper calls you and tells you something, then can you believe it?  How about if both Pittsburgh newspapers call?

We've heard that Judy was acquitted of two of the three charges brought against her, but she was fined the maximum for the third charge, which comes to a grand total of $100.

It'd be nice if the county would notice that the prosecution wasted seven years trying to get a verdict, and failed so future folks don't have to go through all of this.

Speaking of news, I forgot to post here that the closing arguments for Judy's trial are scheduled for tomorrow, and I'll be heading to Pittsburgh to hang out with folks who will be there in her support.  Of course, this might be the first time a scheduled meeting actually happened when it was supposed to (or did it already get postponed once?  It's hard to keep it straight) so I wouldn't be too surprised if Lisa is on vacation and forgot to tell anyone. (More)

Check out Mom's post and Jon's comments afterwards for the update.

Grammy and Papa bought a playground for their backyard, "In memory of Isaac and in honor of all [their] grandchildren."  Two weekends ago, we went to New Hampshire to help them assemble it.  It was a fun and busy weekend.  The playground is big and immensely fun.  Even though we were not able to finish it that weekend, it was assembled enough for the boys to clamber all around.  Jonathan said, "This is the most fun thing ever!"

All the playground pictures are on our pictures page.

The boys on the Rollicking Roundabout:

Latest picture from Papa; they did more work last weekend:

The memorial plaque:

I was just served with a subpeona to appear for Judy's trial on September 22nd, with a preparation meeting on September 8th.  Probably not what Heather wants to be thinking about with our baby due any day now.

I told the detective that with our baby coming, we might not be able to make it, and he said to call the prosecutor, but she is "out of the office" until Monday, so I assume she won't get the message in time.  Oh well, I guess that is what they get for not notifying us sooner.

I had meant to post that the trial was going to be on March 17th, but I just found out that it has been postponed until September 22.  So, more waiting.  Crazy.

This month has been full, busy, and blog-sparse.  Because we're actually living life instead of blogging about it!  But here goes:

Noah is experimenting more with sounds.  He copies a lot.  Still not much consistently, but here are some things we've heard him say: "where?" "Papa" "more" "Dad" "no" "none" "that" "hot" "hat."  He also often covers his mouth when he sneezes or coughs.

 (More)

The hearing to argue pre-trial motions in Judy's case has been continued to October 9, 2007.  Judy's Expert Witnesses will present written argument to the judge at that time and he will decide whether to dismiss the case or go to trial.

Just because we were too busy to post does not mean we did not think about Isaac this Thanksgiving.  Tuesday the 21st was his 4th birthday.  At women's Bible study we sang a song about the people of God, the Church, Christ's body - and one phrase reminded me of the support in grief that they were to us in those days and following.  Thanksgining Day itself this year was the anniversary of Isaac's death.  We got a sweet email from Grammy in which she gave thanks for all three of her grandsons.  Other relatives and friends also remembered with us.  I, too, am thankful for my three boys, for the growth in my spirit from the trial of Isaac's death, and for the heightened appreciation, and thus enjoyment, of the lives I am blessed to spend mine with on this earth.

Beth has a friend whose first child was stillborn at full term. Then she got pregnant with twins and Beth asked the women's Bible study to pray for the health of the babies and their birth. (More)

I hadn't really paid attention to this date, since there have been so many delays and various things, but I just got this from Vicki:

Unless we hear otherwise, Judy's hearing is still on for Thursday. I just spoke with Judy and she asked me to post a reminder regarding the hearing.

Thursday's hearing will include witness testimony on both sides which promises to be emotional, to say the least. This is NOT just a formality. The judge can make preliminary rulings after hearing both sides as to what happens from here. Her attorney remains positive, but the outcome is still very uncertain. The only thing she is certain of is that God is in control.

Please make this a matter of utmost concern and prayer. Pray for wisdom for her attorney, fairness on behalf of the judge and that truth will prevail in the court room. Pray that any attempts to promote injustice will be blocked and that Judy and her family will be uplifted with strength and renewed hope and confidence.

Also, Judy has been busy with a wedding for her daughter, a mid-term exam (tomorrow) and just getting over a cold, so please pray for that as well.

From Vicki:
Just a reminder that Oral Arguments will be heard tomorrow in Judy's case. The judge could make a ruling tomorrow from the bench, or otherwise he has up to 120 days to rule. There is a possibility the case could be dismissed or it could go to trial. I will post an update as soon as I've heard from Judy after court tomorrow with the results. (More)